In March 2015, I was at the OBGYN for my annual exam. Married 3 years at this point and we had been trying to get pregnant since the honeymoon. I shared with the doctor that we’ve been consistently trying and using ovulation tests and stopped birth control right after the wedding, so she seemed taken back and started to order me some tests. As she did my pelvic exam, she paused for a second and asked if I had terrible pains during my menstrual cycles. I shared that occasionally I’d need a Midol or something but it wasn’t really an unbearable pain. She was in disbelief because she said she felt a LARGE cyst on my left ovary, in which for most women probably would give them excruitating pain even when they aren’t on their period. So I was in disbelief myself. She then ordered an ultrasound for me to look further at the cyst the following week.
She called me with results and said she believes I have endometriosis but the cyst was a “complex structure” meaning, they couldn’t tell what it was in the ultrasound but measured it to be the size of a golfball or Lime. She wanted to send me to a Gynecological Oncologist to get it surgically removed and confirm the diagnosis. I was freaking out asking her if it was Cancer and all she could say was we won’t know until it’s taken out and also shared that this could explain why I haven’t been able to get pregnant.
I was freaking out asking her if it was Cancer and all she could say was we won’t know until it’s taken out and also shared that this could explain why I haven’t been able to get pregnant.
This was also the first time I had ever heard of Endometriosis. She explained the endometrial lining that’s in our uterus and we shed every month during our period could have also grown on the outside of my uterus. It’s possible that the endometrial lining grew on my ovaries, my fallopian tubes and even can grow on your kidneys. She couldn’t tell me how this was caused in my body but just shared it was common for women struggling with infertility. She said once we figure out what the cyst actually was, then we can discuss other options to determine how else I can get pregnant (like IUI, checking for blocked tubes or testing for PCOS).
I saw the Gynecological Oncologist the following month, she reviewed my health history and explained they’d remove the cyst laparoscopically using a new technology robot called “Da Vinci® Surgical Robot“. This was a modern way to do this surgery versus trying to cut me completely open like a c-section. She explained that while they were inside, they would remove the cyst and any other cysts they might see in there. They’d send to the lab right then while they had me open to ensure it wasn’t cancer. If it tested as cancer, then they’d go back in and try to scrape out anywhere they think the cancer would’ve spread to. My throat dropped into my stomach. I couldn’t believe these were words coming out of her mouth!
She then asked me that if I had ever considered In-Vitro Fertilization? I told her NO, we want to have a baby naturally and have faith we can. Plus it costs too much. She seemed a little surprised that I wouldn’t consider it, but made a note on my file and scheduled the surgery for June – 6 weeks away. I thought that was too far, but the oncologist said that if it was cancer, 6 weeks wouldn’t make a big difference. Cancer takes years to develop so 6 more weeks is the soonest they could do. UGH!! That was the worst thing she could’ve said but at that point I was already so distraught that I just kept nodding my head in agreement and more disbelief.
Feeling lost, confused, scared, overwhelmed was an understatement. Worst, was the wait before they could even do the surgery! The longest 6 weeks of my life!
To pass the time, all I did was work and spend time with my family and PRAY. I tried to distract my mind from the scariness of it all but it was soooo hard. How could you not stress about this? My mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer in 2011 and I saw the treatments first-hand that she went through and I just couldn’t fathom having to do it myself. The thoughts of my dream to be a mommy was put aside and I had to just keep focusing on getting better instead. I just started using essential oils at that point, so I doused myself in all the stress-relieving, mind-soothing, energy lifting oils I can have!! LIKE FRANKINCENSE & LAVENDER! Hoping I can somehow keep whatever disease it was to continue to spread or grow. Such a whirlwind!
What a compelling concept… your thoughts and emotions can actually create dis-ease in your body.. Whoa!
It was then I started to understand that all my stress, worry and frustration of trying to get pregnant may have manifested whatever was going on with my body. What a compelling concept… your thoughts and emotions can actually create dis-ease in your body.. Whoa! Little did I know, this was the true start to my own journey of healing and spiritual awakening!
Diagnosis and Post Surgery story on next post! Stay tuned.
